True Love
By the Rev. Lee
Woofenden
Bridgewater,
Massachusetts, February 22, 1998
Readings
Genesis 1:26-31 Male
and female he created them
Then God said,
"Let us make humankind in our image, in our likeness, and let them
rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the
livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move
along the ground."
So God created
humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and
female he created them.
God blessed them
and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the
earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the
air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
Then God said,
"I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth
and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for
food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air
and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the
breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it
was so.
God saw all that
he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was
morning--the sixth day.
Matthew 19:3-6 What
God has joined together
Some Pharisees
came to Jesus to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you
read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made
them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has
joined together, let no one separate."
Marital Love #457,
458 The precious jewel of marital love
The marriage
relationship of one man with one woman is the precious jewel of human
life, and the treasure chest of Christianity.... This is because our
life is the same as the love that is in us. Our love makes our innermost
life, since it is the life of wisdom living together with its love, and
the life of love living together with its wisdom--so it is the life of
the joys of both of these. In a word, we are living souls through this
love within us. This is why the marriage relationship of one man with
one woman is called the precious jewel of human life.
Marital love is
the treasure chest of Christianity because Christianity becomes one with
marital love, and they live together.... Our marital love goes according
to our spiritual condition because it goes along with the development of
wisdom within us.
Sermon
God created
humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and
female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)
It looks as if my
long-range holiday sensors are just as bad as they have ever been. Three
weeks ago I promised you a two-part series of sermons, entirely
oblivious of the fact that one of those sermons would fall on the Sunday
right before Valentine's day, and the other on the Sunday right after
Valentine's day. As a result, last week I had the rare distinction of
preaching about Satan on the Sunday closest to Valentine's day!
This week I am
attempting to redeem myself by celebrating Valentine's day a little
late--but still before we move into the introspective period of Lent,
which begins with Ash Wednesday this coming Wednesday. Perhaps
Providence was at work after all, since I am pleased that we are holding
this special service on the same day that our teenagers have joined us
for their Youth League and Confirmation Class (held during Sunday
School), so that their parents can easily attend this service, too.
It does seem
especially appropriate to focus on marriage as we begin together a brand
new venture for our church: a wedding ministry in which we will serve to
join many couples in the holy and, we hope, happy union of marriage. It
is a ministry that our church is especially well suited for. Yes, our
church building is a beautiful place to get married. But when I say that
our church is especially well suited to provide a wedding ministry, I am
referring primarily to the strong and deep insights and ideas that we
find in the teachings of our church about the union of man and woman--of
male and female--in marriage.
Over the ages in
which humanity has existed on this earth, marriage has most often been
considered a mere mating or coupling for purposes of childbearing,
political and social advantage, sexual pleasure, or some other worldly
purpose. One of the most common of these purposes has been--for men--to
secure a woman, or several women, much like property, so that her labor
and her body will belong to him exclusively. A few women have managed to
turn the tables and bend their mates to their will, so that their
husbands labor for them and wait on their beck and call. But this has
been by far the less frequent situation in a world whose affairs have
been largely dominated by men throughout recorded history.
This certainly was
the case in the times of Jesus--and in the times of Moses that Jesus
referred to in our New Testament reading. As we find out if we read
further in Matthew, when the Pharisees asked Jesus whether it was lawful
for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason, they were
referring to a law given by Moses and recorded in the Old Testament that
if a man found his wife to be unsatisfactory for some reason, he should
write her a bill of divorcement and send her away. There is, of course,
no mention in the Old Testament of a wife writing her husband
a bill of divorcement. This would not have even occurred to the Old
Testament writers, since for all practical purposes, a wife belonged to
her husband, and it was simply taken for granted that he held the
primary power in the relationship.
Jesus rejected
this attitude toward marriage. In fact, in another place, speaking to
the people of that culture, he says, "The people of this age marry
and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking
part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither
marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die; for they are
like the angels" (Luke 20:34-36). Did he mean that in heaven there
is no marriage as we conceive of it in our culture's best ideals of
marriage? I think not. Rather, I believe that on the literal level of
meaning, he was saying in essence, "In the spiritual world,
marriage as you know it does not exist. Women are not married off
nor given in marriage to men as property to be owned, controlled, and
sent away at will. That is not how things are with the angels."
Some people may
think this is stretching Jesus' words. But if some deeper form of
marriage were not a part of God's will, why did Jesus say what he did
say in our reading from Matthew? Why did he refer those Pharisees back
to how things were in the beginning, when God created human beings male
and female, both in the image of God? Why did he say that a man should
leave his father and mother and be united to his wife? And why did Jesus
refer to the marriage of a man and a woman as something that God has
joined together, and that no human being should separate?
If we try to
interpret Jesus' words as meaning that there is no such thing as
heavenly, spiritual marriage, we create many contradictions in his own
words. But once we realize that he was referring (in the literal sense)
to an unspiritual form of marriage--that he was attacking social
and religious customs of marriage as property and as a means to worldly
ends--the contradictions disappear. If we put together all his
statements about love and marriage, we can understand and appreciate
that Jesus was trying to break those traditional, worldly views of
marriage and point us toward a deeper, more spiritual, God-given ideal
of marriage.
This spiritual
ideal of marriage is what we both celebrate and strive for today. We as
a church and as individual people, as couples, as families, do not want
to be stuck in old, materialistic, and ultimately depressing and
destructive forms of marriage--forms in which one partner tries to
dominate and control the other for his or her own advantage and
pleasure. No! We wish to build relationships and marriages based on a
deeper ideal--an ideal of mutual love and service, in which there is no
thought of dominance or ownership, but only of a deep, passionately
heartfelt desire to do everything to make each other happy.
This is the ideal.
And as Jesus points out, this ideal of marriage is based on nothing
other than the origin of marriage in the very being of God. In the
beginning, God created us in God's own image--and that image of
God is expressed in the two modes or polarities of human existence: male
and female. We are not male and female simply because this is a method
of biological reproduction that has proven effective for complex
species. We are male and female because both our maleness and our
femaleness express the nature of God. And when male and female unite in
marriage, this also expresses the nature of God.
This is a truly
radical view of marriage! That the union of man and woman, from the
union of our souls and spirits, our minds and hearts, right down to the
physical union of our bodies, is an expression of the union of the male
and female essences of God. Yet this radical view of marriage is present
in the very first chapter of the Bible--the Western world's most sacred
text. It was right there, undiscovered or ignored, through all those
ages in which women were considered the virtual property of men.
Now that we are
beginning the long and arduous process of shaking those old, destructive
patterns of marriage, this spiritually inspiring view of marriage is
still with us in our sacred text, calling us forward to work towards and
experience a form of marriage that is much more deeply rooted in
the human heart and spirit. After all, as Swedenborg points out in our
reading from Marital Love, the real, innermost life within us is
the life of our love.
We can all
recognize this if we think about it. Oh, we do many things that don't
seem to have anything to do with love. There are many things we do each
day that we don't especially love to do. But what is it that
moves us most? When do we feel the most alive? Isn't when we are doing
the things we love? When we are with someone we love, and the
relationship is flowing along smoothly, effectively, joyfully, as we
each find joy in discovering the joys and pleasures of the one we love,
and entering into those joys and pleasures with him or her? Isn't it
when we are with the people we love, working together, playing together,
getting to know each other in a closer and deeper way than we have
before?
Yes, for all our
outward pretensions to other drives and motivations, we human beings
are, at our core, beings of love. And we are beings of
love because we are created in the image and likeness of God--and God
is love. God is true love. God is pure love. And this
love that forms the heart of God is the same love that flows into us,
through us, among us, between us and the ones we love.
True love is not a
physical urge based on hormones and biology and instinctual reproductive
drives. True love is not based some outward attraction, or a realization
that this person fits well into my plans for social and financial
advancement. True love is not even the discovery of common interests and
talents. All of these things do have subordinate roles in the complex
relationship we call love and marriage.
But true
love is a presence, a force, a substance that comes to us from
God and forms the deepest core of our existence. It is an inner, living,
moving reality that motivates us in everything that we do. And if it is true
love, it is a desire that is focused on discovering what makes other
people--and what makes that special other person--truly and
deeply happy, and devoting our lives to helping the ones we love to find
and experience their happiness.
In doing so, we
find our own happiness as well. For when we are using our God-given
knowledge and wisdom and talents toward the happiness of others, then we
are also expressing our own deepest self--a self that is formed of true
love flowing into our souls from God. Amen.
To Valentines Index
Music: Heart to Heart
© 1999 Bruce DeBoer
Floating Script Courtesy
of:
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